I love love love love love love this!!! I had a friend who used to hate her nose because it was just like her dads, sadly, her dad passed away a few years ago and one day when we were having a conversation she casually mentioned how glad she was she never changed her nose because it’s her piece of her dads she carries herself!!! Your words about ancestors reminded me of it.
You’re beautiful and unique! You’re you and I think that’s worth all the beautiful prose in the world!🧡🍸
The undoubted truth in my mind about the beauty of my left side and my acknowledgement of how uncomfortable I am seeing my right side profile in pictures, still gets me to this very day. I have always known that I felt no need to get a nose job but never have known why. Fear, not wanting the recover pain like you mentioned!, or quietly telling myself that I don’t want to change the way I was born while still fully supporting anyone else who chooses to and maybe still going back to fear that if I did I would regret it.
Thank you for sharing ❤️ It truly can become a never ending cycle. Sometimes I won’t consider how I look for days and other times I’ll catch a glimpse from a certain angle or see a picture taken of me when I was unaware and I go through the same motions of talking myself down from doing something radical. Fear, pain and regret are what I cling to the most - and the understanding that every person has that once thing they don’t like about themselves that others haven’t given a second thought to. Because we do truly think of ourselves a bit too much sometimes.
I'm sort of the opposite - I prefer my profile to the front of my face, but I know exactly what you mean about disliking parts of my nose even though it's honestly fine. My nose is a bit asymmetrical, and there's one side of it I much prefer. My friends think I'm crazy when I tell them. But earlier this year, I was watching my dad (who I inherited my nose from), and he looked so dignified and contemplative ... and all of a sudden I was just fine with my nose. Thank you for a beautiful read!
I love this! Thank you so much for sharing the anecdote with me 🫶🏼 I completely relate to friends saying I’m crazy haha. I’m so glad about how you feel about your nose now!
i relate to this so much. i’ve always been very self conscious of my appearance-especially my nose, and only now have i grown to love the way i look! really love this post <3
this was a really great read. As someone who will be getting facial plastic surgery for both aesthetic and medical purposes, I have thought about the “after” a lot more than I was expecting. I’m excited that my side profile and overall facial harmony will be significantly improved, but at the same time I have to wonder. My “new” face will be different enough that I have to get all of my government IDs redone, but my biggest concern is whether or not I will still look like my mom. I’m told I’m the spitting image of her now, and I can only hope that post surgery I will look even more like her.
that is such a touching comment, thank you for sharing this with me. I think it’s such a difficult thing to want to value what you see in others but only appreciate in them. I hope your surgery and the recovery will go well ❤️🩹
this was such a lovely read!! you write so beautifully and as a person with a complicated relationship with their side profile, this really resonated with me! particularly loved "I know that when I look into the mirror, I see the result of generations of women’s hard labour. Nine months on nine months on nine months of work just simmering around my features" and "Maybe I will be remembered in the faces of all those after me, as I am the eulogy, the accolade of the faces before me" so beautiful :)
Great piece, Anastasia. This could have been younger me writing this. I’m now in my 30s and am so glad I never changed my nose. It reminds me of where I come from. 🤍
Thank you so much 🤍 I’m glad to hear you never changed your nose, I’m quite happy I haven’t taken the step yet either as it wouldn’t come from a productive or caring place
It feels almost like ripping a whole root out, not just trimming a few leaves
i have phases in my life where i love myself naturally, as i am the living form of all who came before me, then i have days where i feel i want fuller lips as (i am a mixed woman with smaller lips) when i catch myself in between these beauty standards that should never apply to me or any women i always come back to myself and fondly think of my mother and grandmother as i wouldn’t change a thing about them i feel beautiful because of them ! thank u for sharing
I’m so happy to hear this!! I think it’s so easy to overcritical of ourselves to the point of not liking something about ourselves that we like in others - that’s why it’s so important to have different points of reference
What you said is absolutely true. We should not aspire to have those “iPhone faces”, rather cherish the ones we have, which are a reflection of our ancestors’. That makes us unique in our own way.
Loved the Nizar Qabbani quote you added at the end, it's one of my favorites, and your perspective is so refreshing.
Something about being a woman in society feels like it requires that disdain towards our natural features - my coworkers are always complaining about this or that feature, and I feel like it's almost instinctive, as though it's been passed down through the generations. This idea has helped me remove myself from my own judgmental gaze in the mirror, and I try to say, "Actually, I love how I look because it reminds me of people I love/loved," exactly as you mentioned in your piece.
It takes practice and patience to grow to "love" your features, I've come to just try to "like" them.
Beautiful piece from a beautiful person. Thank you for writing!
thank you so much for this ❤️❤️ yes I totally get what you mean - my mom grew up with curly hair that she now permanently straightens, and I’ve only recently started getting curls in my hair, but every couple of weeks I’ll send her a picture and tell her how it makes me feel closer to her! it really is the small things
i'm fairly new to substack and this the best piece i've read so far. thank you for talking so positively about 'atypical' (whatever that means) noses :)
I love love love love love love this!!! I had a friend who used to hate her nose because it was just like her dads, sadly, her dad passed away a few years ago and one day when we were having a conversation she casually mentioned how glad she was she never changed her nose because it’s her piece of her dads she carries herself!!! Your words about ancestors reminded me of it.
You’re beautiful and unique! You’re you and I think that’s worth all the beautiful prose in the world!🧡🍸
thank you so much 🫶🏼 aww that anecdote almost made me cry, glad she didn’t change anything
❤️❤️
this piece is amazing🌻 I’m so glad I discovered this substack
aww thank you so much - I’m glad you enjoyed it ❤️
The undoubted truth in my mind about the beauty of my left side and my acknowledgement of how uncomfortable I am seeing my right side profile in pictures, still gets me to this very day. I have always known that I felt no need to get a nose job but never have known why. Fear, not wanting the recover pain like you mentioned!, or quietly telling myself that I don’t want to change the way I was born while still fully supporting anyone else who chooses to and maybe still going back to fear that if I did I would regret it.
Thank you for sharing ❤️ It truly can become a never ending cycle. Sometimes I won’t consider how I look for days and other times I’ll catch a glimpse from a certain angle or see a picture taken of me when I was unaware and I go through the same motions of talking myself down from doing something radical. Fear, pain and regret are what I cling to the most - and the understanding that every person has that once thing they don’t like about themselves that others haven’t given a second thought to. Because we do truly think of ourselves a bit too much sometimes.
I'm sort of the opposite - I prefer my profile to the front of my face, but I know exactly what you mean about disliking parts of my nose even though it's honestly fine. My nose is a bit asymmetrical, and there's one side of it I much prefer. My friends think I'm crazy when I tell them. But earlier this year, I was watching my dad (who I inherited my nose from), and he looked so dignified and contemplative ... and all of a sudden I was just fine with my nose. Thank you for a beautiful read!
I love this! Thank you so much for sharing the anecdote with me 🫶🏼 I completely relate to friends saying I’m crazy haha. I’m so glad about how you feel about your nose now!
This is such a beautiful piece, glad to have discovered you 🌟
aww thank you so much 🫶🏼🫶🏼 I’m glad you liked it! ⭐️
i relate to this so much. i’ve always been very self conscious of my appearance-especially my nose, and only now have i grown to love the way i look! really love this post <3
I’m so happy you related to the more positive outlooks! It’s so important to grow to love yourself 🫶🏼 proud of you!
thank you! 🫶
This piece is beautiful ❤️ 15 year old me would have found comfort in it too as I do now :)
I love this ❤️❤️ I definitely wrote it for a younger version of myself, so I’m glad you received it in that way too! Thank you for reading
this was a really great read. As someone who will be getting facial plastic surgery for both aesthetic and medical purposes, I have thought about the “after” a lot more than I was expecting. I’m excited that my side profile and overall facial harmony will be significantly improved, but at the same time I have to wonder. My “new” face will be different enough that I have to get all of my government IDs redone, but my biggest concern is whether or not I will still look like my mom. I’m told I’m the spitting image of her now, and I can only hope that post surgery I will look even more like her.
that is such a touching comment, thank you for sharing this with me. I think it’s such a difficult thing to want to value what you see in others but only appreciate in them. I hope your surgery and the recovery will go well ❤️🩹
thank you thank you thank you for this! i love this so much and i truly resonated with this as someone that just turned 20!!
I’m so glad you enjoyed it!! thank you for reading!
this was such a lovely read!! you write so beautifully and as a person with a complicated relationship with their side profile, this really resonated with me! particularly loved "I know that when I look into the mirror, I see the result of generations of women’s hard labour. Nine months on nine months on nine months of work just simmering around my features" and "Maybe I will be remembered in the faces of all those after me, as I am the eulogy, the accolade of the faces before me" so beautiful :)
Thank you so much!! I’m so happy you enjoyed it - and I’m glad that you could resonate with it! 🤍
Great piece, Anastasia. This could have been younger me writing this. I’m now in my 30s and am so glad I never changed my nose. It reminds me of where I come from. 🤍
Thank you so much 🤍 I’m glad to hear you never changed your nose, I’m quite happy I haven’t taken the step yet either as it wouldn’t come from a productive or caring place
It feels almost like ripping a whole root out, not just trimming a few leaves
i have phases in my life where i love myself naturally, as i am the living form of all who came before me, then i have days where i feel i want fuller lips as (i am a mixed woman with smaller lips) when i catch myself in between these beauty standards that should never apply to me or any women i always come back to myself and fondly think of my mother and grandmother as i wouldn’t change a thing about them i feel beautiful because of them ! thank u for sharing
I’m so happy to hear this!! I think it’s so easy to overcritical of ourselves to the point of not liking something about ourselves that we like in others - that’s why it’s so important to have different points of reference
thank you for reading!!
This was eye-opening!!!
Monumental!!
Great observation. ♥️
What you said is absolutely true. We should not aspire to have those “iPhone faces”, rather cherish the ones we have, which are a reflection of our ancestors’. That makes us unique in our own way.
Even I don’t like my photo taken from upfront. 😅
But that doesn’t mean we should change it!!!
Loved this a lottt!!
And as always the thumbnail!!🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶
wow you’re too kind thank you 🫶🏼
exactly!! even with our specific insecurities there’s such a bigger broader picture that I can’t help but love
and we should learn to cherish all parts of ourselves 🙏🏼
Loved the Nizar Qabbani quote you added at the end, it's one of my favorites, and your perspective is so refreshing.
Something about being a woman in society feels like it requires that disdain towards our natural features - my coworkers are always complaining about this or that feature, and I feel like it's almost instinctive, as though it's been passed down through the generations. This idea has helped me remove myself from my own judgmental gaze in the mirror, and I try to say, "Actually, I love how I look because it reminds me of people I love/loved," exactly as you mentioned in your piece.
It takes practice and patience to grow to "love" your features, I've come to just try to "like" them.
Beautiful piece from a beautiful person. Thank you for writing!
thank you so much for this ❤️❤️ yes I totally get what you mean - my mom grew up with curly hair that she now permanently straightens, and I’ve only recently started getting curls in my hair, but every couple of weeks I’ll send her a picture and tell her how it makes me feel closer to her! it really is the small things
you are so so beautiful! this piece was amazing. (and i love nizar qabbani) 💛
thank you so much 🫶🏼🫶🏼 yes he’s so amazing!!
i'm fairly new to substack and this the best piece i've read so far. thank you for talking so positively about 'atypical' (whatever that means) noses :)