a thought: your community is right in front of you!
did you know that nepotism refers to privileges bestowed on the ‘nephews’ of popes, who were in many cases their illegitimate sons? google it!
It comes to no surprise that I have not been bestowed with the privileges that come with being a pope’s illegitimate son. I do not fit the important criteria of being a catholic after all (or any of the other less significant criteria).
You might be wondering what the correlation is between having a community and possessing pope nepotism. Well, it seems to me that the current discourse around having a community in adulthood is not yet clear on the differences between community-building and networking. There is a lack of nuance when it comes to what people truly want when lamenting about not having a community.
Like so many aspects of our twenty-first century lives, communities are accentuated for their transactional value. But while we often charge against the idea of transactions in relationships, I believe that there is a certain sweetness to be recognised in the exchange aspect of community. While exchange and transaction might seem to simply be synonymous terms, I want to clarify that exchange to me removes the professional aspect of the previous term.
Often, with networking, it seems people are eager to move upwards, and in doing so forget the wonderful elements in the linear. If they were not born with the nepotism of a fatherly pope, they can outsource.
So, in my attempt to add my two cents in the recurrent discourse on building a community in our modern day and age, I will be doing you the great service of listing a few non-papal privileges I do process in my wallet (my metaphorical one of course - my real one mostly has old student cards and polish coins).
After all, I do not have the privilege of nepotism.
But I do have a privilege of having a friend who works part time at a cinema, and can therefor have two free tickets. The privilege of splitting a ticket in three so that her, myself and another friend can see a horror movie to crown the arrival of October.
I do not have the privilege of nepotism.
But I do have the privilege of being a stubborn gen Z, one who always looks for free events in English happening in Oslo. The privilege of having discovered the only English bookstore during one of my internet deep dives; a bookstore that hosts free events in English with authors once or twice a month.
I do not have the privilege of nepotism.
But I do have the privilege of having a dad who will book all my flight tickets for me, just because I’m nervous about getting dates and times wrong.
I do not have the privilege of nepotism.
But I do have the privilege of being a student, and having a passionate teacher who sets up weekly movie screenings of Western movies at one of the auditoriums. At least for those screenings I don’t have to be discreet about bringing outside food.
I do not have the privilege of nepotism.
But I do have the privilege of having a friend who is obsessed with all things Danish, and who immediately offered to let me borrow his danish books when I told him I was learning the language.
I do not have the privilege of nepotism.
But I do have the privilege of having a friend who works at an international food chain. The very friend who invites me to eat at her work on Fridays because she hates how much the company wastes food.
I do not have the privilege of nepotism.
But I do have the privilege of having always found local friends when moving to a new country. Friends who were always there to help me with anything - whether that be calling a post office to ask about the whereabouts of a package, clarifying university emails, or just recommending good food spots to take my parents for dinner when they visited.
I do not have the privilege of nepotism. But I do have the privilege of having a community.
—
Love,
Anastasia
Thank you so much for reading this essay! Although my recent piece was all about not counting numbers (a thought: I'm not good at numbers, and neither should you be), I have noticed quite a few new additions to our community, and just wanted to say thank you so much for subscribing! I’m endlessly grateful for the support and love - and wanted to make sure that although I haven’t made a note with a screenshot from my dashboard, you are definitely seen and appreciated here!
this is really beautiful
Anastasia this is a wonderful read! 💛